Category: Away Missions

In recent months, Starfleet has been receiving reports that there has been an increase in traffic to the Gamma quadrant, an area to the galatic east of San Francisco. Upon further investigation, Starfleet agents were able to find references to a place called “Sonic” among leaflets being distributed by the Ferengi. Concerned, Starfleet asked the USS Loma Prieta to send in a covert operation of specially trained crew into the Gamma quadrant to find the answer.

Unfortunately, Cmdr. Perkins was occupied at a Starfleet Security conference, and couldn’t attend the mission. Instead, Lt. Jon Sung was given command of the Runabout Egon to lead an away team consisting of myself (Lt. Hesser) and En. Andy Smith. Lt (jg) Ben Roodman, having visited Quark’s the night before, was indisposed and could not make the mission. (Personal log: remember to look up Starfleet disciplinary policy for crew members missing away missions due to overindulging in synth-ale)

Following the directions we received from Starfleet Intelligence’s Google branch, we eventually came upon the trail of starships leading us to the fabled Sonic in the region of “Hayward”. It was then that we made the most shocking discovery of the mission that will shake the foundations of Federation archeology for decades to come; the mythical planet of “Sonic” was in fact not a planet at all …but a space station run by some rather entrepreneurial Ferengi.

Interestingly, Sonic does not require you to transport on to the location itself, but allows you to pull up your vessel and request replicator uploads directly to your craft. You can also have a representative from the Sonic deliver non-replicated food directly to your craft with a helpful smile. Oddly, these representatives traveled using footwear with wheels attached. Later research into Starfleet’s databases revealed these items to be called “rollerskates” and were used frequently in the mid to late 20th century.

Among the faire sampled were “hot dogs”, “bacon cheeseburgers”, “tots”, “onion rings”, and “mozzarella sticks”. Tricorder scans showed the food items to be very low in nutritional value, yet they were surprisingly delicious. There was also a drink sampled by myself and Ensign Smith which left their tongues surprisingly numb. Scans collected on the beverage will be forwarded to Starfleet Medical to find out if there’s any danger posed to the group. The crew concluded that the mission was a great success and no threat to Starfleet, although there were indications that there would be a strong Ferengi foothold in the Gamma quadrant if the success continued.

~Lt. Tom Hesser
Chief Engineer
USS Loma Prieta
Starfleet, Region 4

As the headquarters of Starfleet Command, San Francisco is also naturally home to one of the most extravagant of annual Fleet Week celebrations.  While the USS Loma Prieta itself was not featured amongst the ships on display, our crew did send a rather sizable delegation to the festivities.

After beginning the mission with a minor transporter accident that scattered our away team across the Embarcadero waterfront, we regrouped at Pier 30. Anchored there was the USS Bonhomme Richard, an amphibious assault carrier capable of launching a wide variety of aircraft, from helicopters to Harrier jets, as well as amphibious Marine landing vehicles.

The crew of the USS Bonhomme Richard was friendly and informative, showcasing the latest in military hardware from armored personnel carriers, attack helicopters, and even the advanced V-22 Osprey. But it wasn’t just vehicles that were being showcased. There was some surprisingly advanced technology on display, including pre-Soong android technology in the form remote controlled ordinance disposal robots, and even an airborne surveillance drone.

After disembarking the Bonhomme Richard, our away team attempted to seek out a spot to best observe the Blue Angels air show. Unfortunately, after making a few aerobatic passes that could easily rival Nova Squadron, the show was cut short after atmospheric anomalies (ie: clouds) were detected. Hopefully, our crew will be able to witness the full performance at Fleet Week 2012. Perkins out.

~Cmdr. Zach Perkins
Commanding Officer
USS Loma Prieta
Starfleet, Region 4

After receiving encouraging reports from Yeoman Bee’s scouting party, the crew assembled a full away team to attend the Darkroom’s final performance of Star Trek Live: The Way To Eden.  Knowing that the events we were about to witness occurred long ago in the 23rd Century, the crew took care to don vintage Starfleet attire to blend in and draw as little attention as possible.

Our attempts, however, seemed to have the complete opposite effect. The away team was immediately spotted by the audience and staff, and we were made to pose for photos in the theater’s Constitution class bridge stage. The potential damage that we’ve done to the timeline is incalculable, and I’m sure as soon as I submit this log to Starfleet that I will be paid a rather unpleasant visit from Temporal Investigations. They ask so many questions…

Regardless of the consequences, the crew’s egregious temporal vacation violation was well worth it. The house was packed, the cast talented, and the production was heartfelt. Star Trek Live provided a fresh take on a particularly absurd episode that, in its own time, showed just how culturally divided our society had been (and how utterly detached and mislead the mainstream media could be).

Star Trek Live’s re-telling of ‘The Way to Eden’ notably featured a kilt wearing Scotty; a singing Kirk who wore yoga pants; a Sulu that was far more out-of-the-closet than had anyone remembered him being; Yeoman Rand (not actually featured in the original episode) in an up-do wig as eye candy; and a series of three wig-alternating Red Shirts all played by the same actor.  The crew of Star Trek Live’s USS Enterprise each had something to offer, but the real highlight was Andrew Moore’s rendition of Adam, the episode’s iconic hippie-bard. Unlike the original episodes creepy yet happy-go-lucky Adam, Moore’s psychotic Adam was played more like a member the bank-robbing surfer-gang in Point Break than a prancing space hippie.

I seemed that our presence had seriously disrupted the timeline. Any doubt of this was put to rest not long after we returned to our own time and discovered that Charles Napier, the original Adam from the 1969 episode, had passed away.  Rest in peace Charles, “we reach…”

~Cmdr. Zach Perkins
Commanding Officer
USS Loma Prieta
Starfleet, Region 4