Away Team Report: (2012.0218) The San Francisco Star Trek Convention 2012

Starfleet Command has been hounding me to submit a report for our mission to the official San Francisco Star Trek Convention 2012. It’s gotten to the point that they’ve threatened to revoke my holodeck access codes, so I really need to get this damn thing written. To be perfectly honest, I figured that all the mainstream media attention that the USS Loma Prieta received at the convention (everything from SF Weekly to StarTrek.com and even VICE) would have sufficed for Starfleet, but as I look back on our photos and records, I remember how much went down that weekend that deserves a proper summary. On Friday of the convention, Security Chief Captain Erik Roberts and Chief Engineer LtCmdr Tom Hesser scouted the Westin St. Francis Hotel in civilian 21st-century garb. Unfortunately, the only 21st-century clothes we had available on the ship were USS Loma Prieta t-shirts, so it comes as no surprise that their cover was blown when a StarTrek.com photographer easily spotted them.

Despite this setback in stealthiness, we proceed with a full landing party on Saturday. Since our Friday recon mission had already been spotted, we decided to forego any further charades and went in full 24th-Century Starfleet duty uniforms. With eleven officers in our away team, we stormed the convention: not long after our entrance we set up a public round of something we call “Pop-Up Artemis” in the lobby. Using a portable holoemitter (disguised as a standard PC projector), a wifi router, a netbook, and 5 iPads running the Artemis Starship Bridge Simulator, we conducted a public demonstration of how a real Starfleet bridge crew handles a tactical situation. Needless to say, this display drew some attention from convention goers and the press alike, luring photographers from SFWeekly and VICE.

After a few pop-up games of Artemis, the crew dispersed to try to fulfill their next mission: an SFSO Covert Convention Ops challenge. Starfleet Intelligence had tasked our crew with a photo-based scavenger hunt for intelligence-gathering purposes. Captain Erik Roberts will file a supplementary report detailing this Special Operations mission.

After we’d taken in all the vendor room had to offer, we settled into the main hall programming to gatch a glimpse of Marina Sirtis and Michael Dorn hamming it up together, with the final appearance of the day from Walter Koenig. After the stars cleared the stage, the costume contest began, where our own Chief Petty Officer Tria Connell entered as her glitzy alter-ego “Bea Dazzler”! Meanwhile, Captain Perkins and Cmdr Jon Sung snuck off for a diplomatic rendezvous with key officers of Region 4 as a part of a covert operation to infiltrate Nichelle Nichols’s hotel suite at the Westin St. Francis, rubbing shoulders with Trek stars up close and personal (but not TOO close: temporal Prime Directive, after all).

On Sunday, experiencing a hangover with a gravitional pull powerful enough to slingshot us back to the 23rd Century, we dispatched a smaller away team of seven officers in TOS uniforms. Several crewmembers continued gathering photo intelligence for their SFSO Covert Convention Ops Challenge, and we enjoyed a measurably lower-key day. After witnessing several proposals from adoring fans to the ever snarky Brent Spiner, we enjoyed the spirited stories of hometown hero George Takei.

While there can’t be any doubt that the USS Loma Prieta made a major splash at the 2012 San Francisco Star Trek Convention, it was not without its cost. Conventions are TOUGH, and this Captain is finally starting to understand why Picard always sent Riker on all the grueling away missions.

Perkins, out. =/=

CAPT Zach Perkins
Commanding Officer
USS Loma Prieta
Starfleet, Region 4