Away Team Report: (2011.1105) …The Search for Sonic

In recent months, Starfleet has been receiving reports that there has been an increase in traffic to the Gamma quadrant, an area to the galatic east of San Francisco. Upon further investigation, Starfleet agents were able to find references to a place called “Sonic” among leaflets being distributed by the Ferengi. Concerned, Starfleet asked the USS Loma Prieta to send in a covert operation of specially trained crew into the Gamma quadrant to find the answer.

Unfortunately, Cmdr. Perkins was occupied at a Starfleet Security conference, and couldn’t attend the mission. Instead, Lt. Jon Sung was given command of the Runabout Egon to lead an away team consisting of myself (Lt. Hesser) and En. Andy Smith. Lt (jg) Ben Roodman, having visited Quark’s the night before, was indisposed and could not make the mission. (Personal log: remember to look up Starfleet disciplinary policy for crew members missing away missions due to overindulging in synth-ale)

Following the directions we received from Starfleet Intelligence’s Google branch, we eventually came upon the trail of starships leading us to the fabled Sonic in the region of “Hayward”. It was then that we made the most shocking discovery of the mission that will shake the foundations of Federation archeology for decades to come; the mythical planet of “Sonic” was in fact not a planet at all …but a space station run by some rather entrepreneurial Ferengi.

Interestingly, Sonic does not require you to transport on to the location itself, but allows you to pull up your vessel and request replicator uploads directly to your craft. You can also have a representative from the Sonic deliver non-replicated food directly to your craft with a helpful smile. Oddly, these representatives traveled using footwear with wheels attached. Later research into Starfleet’s databases revealed these items to be called “rollerskates” and were used frequently in the mid to late 20th century.

Among the faire sampled were “hot dogs”, “bacon cheeseburgers”, “tots”, “onion rings”, and “mozzarella sticks”. Tricorder scans showed the food items to be very low in nutritional value, yet they were surprisingly delicious. There was also a drink sampled by myself and Ensign Smith which left their tongues surprisingly numb. Scans collected on the beverage will be forwarded to Starfleet Medical to find out if there’s any danger posed to the group. The crew concluded that the mission was a great success and no threat to Starfleet, although there were indications that there would be a strong Ferengi foothold in the Gamma quadrant if the success continued.

~Lt. Tom Hesser
Chief Engineer
USS Loma Prieta
Starfleet, Region 4